Recently, we have had a series of serious fires that have taken a deadly toll. Deadliest was a fire in Syracuse NY that occurred early yesterday morning (5/6/16) at approximately 4:30 AM. The fire was reported by neighbors who advised dispatchers that they had heard an explosion, followed by additional 911 calls advising the house was on fire. Upon arrival, firefighters were faced with a blazing inferno engulfing a multi-story, single-family home. Neighbors advised that a family of people were still inside. Just as crews were ready to make entry through the front, the entire porch from collapsed, blocking the way in.
Just as almost everyone of us would do, they immediately attempted to find an alternative way to get into the house. They raised ladders to the second floor; they search for ways on ingress through first-floor windows. However, due to the spread of the fire and its intensity, it took Syracuse's Bravest nearly thirty minutes to darken the flames. Once they did and were able to get inside, they found one young female, approximately 7 years old, and five males, ages, 10, 12, 13, 33 and 34, all deceased. One female in her 30's did get out alive, but seriously injured and another male, also in his 30's, was not home at the time.
From 1981 through 1985, I lived in the town of DeWitt, which bordered the east side of the City of Syracuse. One of the chiefs of the volunteer department I was a member of, was a Syracuse firefighter. And as happens, members of our department had numerous opportunities to work with the SFD or enjoy recreation times together. These were and I am absolutely certain, still are today, a terrific bunch of firefighters who always give 150% on the job.
Just as happens with our brothers and sisters in Law Enforcement, who pass through an entire career, never having to pull their gun, many of us go through our time on the job, without experiencing a fatality. However, for those of us who have lost a victim, no matter the cause, it hits us like a punch in the gut. Losing a victim goes against everything we joined for - to save lives and property in our communities. And our comrades in Syracuse felt, and probably still feel, as if they were kicked in the gut and head, time after time.
In an emotional interview to the press, one of the chiefs from Syracuse said that what he remembers is the tears in the eyes and one the faces of his firefighters. In a blog like this, some might say, "Hey, it's part of the job. Suck it up!" However, when we look in the mirror, the person who stares back at us knows the truth and that's that many, if not, most of us, have also shed tears at the scene or shortly thereafter, a tragic loss. No matter how gung-ho we are or think we are, we're not made of stone and we're not robots without emotions. We are men and women, just like the people we have sworn to protect and there are incidents that we just cannot mitigate and result in a loss of life. And when that happens, we express our sorrow and sadness.
I'm sure we've all heard from some of our older colleagues or those retired, stories they tell that begin with, "Back in the day..." And they'll tell us they didn't wear bunker pants, didn't wear SCBA, didn't lock into a ladder, etc. And they may even tell us of a tragic call and they just kept on doing their job. Maybe some did. For most, I believe it's bullshit!
Nevertheless, some of us are still reticent to allow our fellow firefighters to see us cry. If that includes you, then tell me why? What are you afraid of? That you won't measure up to the others? That your comrades will look at you like your a wuss? That's your either less of a man to the others or, if you're a female, that the guys will think, "Sure she's crying. She's a girl! That's why they don't belong on the job?" Again, I say, "Bullshit!"
However, have you thought about the consequences of holding it in? Of trying to sublimate your feelings somewhere deep inside a part of your mind that no one else will ever see?
Some of our top chief, leaders and instructors will still remember the terrible crash of American Airlines Flight 191, a DC-10 in Chicago, just after take-off, back in 1979. The plane crashed into a trailer park and a part of a former, smaller airport, killing all on board and two on the ground. It is still the worst airline accident in the United States.
Besides the ARFF crews who immediately responded, dozens of firefighters from surrounding career and volunteer departments responded as well. As one firefighter said in an interview, "We didn't see one body intact." Everyone pitched in to do the job they were supposed to do. Yet, by the next day, many who had been on-site, found themselves acting what they considered, irrationally. One chief remarked that on the next morning, he climbed into his truck to go to work and wound up sitting there, in his driveway, crying for the next half-hour or so.
Though both medical and psychiatric professionals were aware of odd behavior on the part of our brave men and women returning from tours in Viet Nam, there was no official medical term for this behavior until 1980, when the phrase, "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder," was finally adopted by the American Psychiatric Association. And, it was in the follow-up of the American Airlines crash, with dozens of our fellow firefighters finding themselves unable to return to being the same person they were just prior to their response to the crash, that PTSD was noted to be a true reaction by first responders to a major incident.
Today, we have some wonderful people, some still on the job, some retired, and some who left, working hard to assist all firefighters from falling into the dark abyss of PTSD. Think about the past year or so and how much attention has been directed to the tragic problem of firefighter suicides. There are a plethora of causes for these tragedies, we know some to be job-stress, family stress, repeated exposure to tragedy and many more.
Look, we all have emotions. In the same way that a baby's cooing or laugh fills us up with joy, exposure to tragedy cuts us deeply. We just don't have to keep it to ourselves; we do not have to suck it up.
I just don't know why they say grown men can't cry.
Stay Safe and Every One Goes Home
